Wednesday, October 24, 2007
"he lay on the ground twisted in various contortions. blood spurted out of the wound where his heart was and all he could manage were ragged breaths, each getting weaker as the scythe slowly fell. as he lay in my arms, i felt like a morbid spectator, witnessing death in its finest cruelty. i could feel him, that sick devil in his arrayed splendor, ready to take ahold of the soul as it slipped through my fingers. he tried to speak but there was no sound. i looked into his eyes, they were crying out to me, as if there was a great burden he held in him. i willed him back to speak, but the gurgling out of his throat was deafening, nor could i hear anything else other than my own pathetic sobs. as he breathed his last, that one breath seemed to contain a lifetime of regrets. my ears heard nothing, but i listened to the unspoken questions. why did you choose to forget? it suddenly became crystal clear, he had simply lost the will to leave. his heart had not given out but ripped itself apart instead, he had killed himself. the thoughts dissipated along with his dying breath, and as i listened i heard the meaning of life disappear along with his departed soul. there was nothing left to live for, save the faith that protects my soul" - from a book i shall never divulge.
i'll never forget the enchantment of sound, how one man had turned a marigaux into beautiful sounds of music. verily (ha! i'm using verily!) as he blew his encore i'd never heard a better tone that could soothe a mind. i miss the oboe.
today (yesterday) was better. i hope today will be less conspicuous.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
9:37 AM
