Sunday, June 10, 2007
maybe its because we've all gotten too close as friends, such that the only way to progress would be to cross that line. either we start to place a trust that doesn't befit just-friends status, or we feel that spark of interest. i have a tendency to show that much concern and put in that much effort into relationships with people who mattered to me, that this line arrives much closer. the most amazing thing is that sometimes the other parties don't realise it, and despite being my closest of friends, they do things that hurt me alot right in my face. even now, past good friends make me feel how pathetic i've become in my life. unappreciation in its unadulterated, biased emotive.
i've never had a past i felt was worth remembering. i keep hoping for a more meaningful future, but i can only hope. maybe my life is this pathetic, because of what my father shared about what he learnt during one of his lessons with God. "little is better for you". maybe i'm just supposed to understand this myself, and grow into a life that doesn't need more than what i already have. that maybe i'm just meant to have my only close relationship with my God. nothing more, nothing less.
this is too many maybes for a post. i miss a hell lot of people. i can only hope that someday relationships will be restored. haha. this is too depressing for a end-hiatus post.
convicted by Your spirit, led by Your word
8:14 AM
